Now that Newt Gingrich has won the first round in the Confederate States primary contests—and O! what a victory it was; America’s demons are on the prowl and Newt is their advance man—it’s time to look at the various possible fates of the Soul of America depending upon who wins the battle for it.
Continue reading Scenarios for various outcomes of the Battle for the Soul of America
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A quick word (two, really) for liberals incensed that other liberals and leftists are attracted to the anti-imperialist, anti-authoritarian soundings of Ron Paul: fuck off. If you don’t like that people are praising a guy they would otherwise regard as just another demented freak filling out the field of demented freaks (and the one . . . → Read More: Why panicked liberals hate Ron Paul A blogger in Philadelphia catches what nobody else has: Barack Obama finally, finally owned up to being a Socialist.
I know I missed it, and I’m attuned to these things. I guess I can relax now: the general election more than ever looks like Obama’s to lose, as the Republicans variously gnaw upon one another’s nether regions or collapse weeping by the roadside, so come January 21 of 2013, the workers paradise awaits us all. Meanwhile, what can you say about Mitch McConnell? Probably everyone is aware by now that “professional” “historian” and alleged presidential candidate Newt Gingrich has compared his exclusion from the Virginia GOP presidential primary ballot to the attack on Pearl Harbor. Many of you (both of you, dear readers?) might have failed to discern the parallels had not Newt pointed them out. That’s because unlike Newt, you are not “professional” “historians.” Nor have you ever known the horrific tragedy of having “tried” and failed to make the Virginia GOP presidential primary ballot, so how can you possibly judge? Lots of people know by now that of the three federal agencies alleged Texas governor Rick Perry wants to eliminate when he becomes President, Perry could only remember two during the GOP presidential primary “debate” last night. Apparently a large subset of the people who know about it think the spectacle of him doing the cranial potty dance on live TV for about a solid minute signals the end of his campaign, but they forget that there are no stupidity, cupidity, liquidity, lividity, lucidity, rancidity or validity barriers to presidential candidacy in the GOP. You only have to be alive (and that’s a prejudice we here at BTC News intend to shatter). But like Glen Campbell in “True Grit,” Rick Perry ain’t dead yet. (Although we should note that Campbell’s character was fatally wounded at the time.) The alleged Texas governor managed to find his way to the press room to slather some soothing “Aw Shucks” balm on reporters after the debate, and his campaign sent out an email fundraising appeal not long after that. Disclaimer: BTC News doesn’t advocate stealing any books, and especially not this one because pretty soon they’ll be giving it away. Continuing with our heroic plunge into the depths of GOP presidential primary Not to undercut the campaign effort, but if you really want the book—non-autographed copies only, we regret to say—you can donate $37.50 to BTC News and we’ll send you one. Half off! It’s a steal. Act now. We promise not to spend the money on a political candidate. I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink … A few weeks ago I signed up for emails from several candidates in the GOP presidential primary freak show. Nobody is bringing any noteworthy crazy in their private notes to their strongest backers, like me, so I’m reduced instead to reporting on the humanity of it all. Newt Gingrich, for instance, is in far deeper trouble than anyone knew. He’s picking fights not with the Washington Post or the New York Times or even whatever newspaper is still standing in San Francisco, but with Mother Jones Magazine. We have to think Mother Jones was previously unknown to most of his supporters, as it is unknown to most people in the country—no offense intended, just saying the numbers aren’t huge—but now they’ll be slinging the name around with knowledgeable contempt. The Financial Times has a little story about the UK’s latest Tory member of the European Parliament. He’s Rupert Matthews, and FT introduces him to readers in fine style. His hair is less than perfect but other than that he has all the qualities required for a GOP up-and-comer. I just completed a frank exchange of views with a devout Obama supporter who believes her president is curbing his liberal impulses from respect for the views of the losing voters on the right (they did lose, didn’t they?) and in order to establish a dynamic in which subsequent right-wing presidents will moderate their own ambitions from respect for Obama’s example and the voters who support it. Well. Not exactly her president. She’s Canadian, although also Floridian. Hot Sun Bakes Canadian Brain. In the end we agreed that when Rick Perry invades Iran in five years after taking office by winning 45% of the popular vote, I will deserve to be drafted and sent off to fight and presumably die in that war because I think Democrats should pursue big projects like universal health care, the cramming of which down American throats led George W. Bush to invade Iraq. Damn you, Harry Truman! This country is in trouble. Our economy is on life support; our foreign policy is on autopilot and there are mountains dead ahead. What the country needs now is a proven winner, an economic innovator, a foreign policy genius, a man who knows how to more or less end pointless and interminable wars. Now more than ever, that man is Richard Milhous Nixon. |
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