I want a new White House correspondent! Damn it!

As probably nobody remembers, BTC News once boasted our own White House correspondent, the inimitable (actually, truly) Eric Brewer. Eric went into the White House press room and despite no journalism experience whatsoever, stayed composed while asking some very tough and valuable questions. You can see his work under the category “White House Dispatches” off on my left sidebar there. Dan Froomkin did a writeup of the beginning of the affair when he was still at the Washington Post, which included a fun “Scottinator” feature designed to illuminate Scott McClellan’s Garanimals approach to Press Secretary-ing.

But Eric meandered off to write for Raw Story, who could actually pay him from time to time, which I couldn’t, and he sort of lost his fire when Bush left office, and then he got an actual wonderful life (Congratulations, Eric!) so it wasn’t feasible anymore anyway.

And that’s why I haven’t had a White House correspondent for quite some time now. And I miss it. And I want another one. But I’m sure I’ll have to pay this one, because there just aren’t any Erics out there with spare time on their hands and the fairly enormous balls required to walk into the press room and ask questions that nobody on either side of the podium especially wants to hear, ask or answer.

And that’s what I need. I need someone who will bedevil whoever the president sends out to the podium. The press corps are not asking difficult questions of this administration any more than they did the last. That there is just wrong. If no one asks boorish questions, then the audience never know where the administration’s tenderest parts are.

So I am appealing for help here. I need ideas on how I can raise money to fund a White House correspondent. Practical ideas would be best, but given that it wasn’t very practical to be lying homeless on the beach thinking, “I’m going to get myself a White House correspondent,” which is how the whole thing came about, I’m open to impractical ones as well.

I have been offered some good ones already. My brother suggested trying to track down retired reporters who might want to have some good fun in the press room from time to time. Thanks, Bro! That’s a sterling idea. So I need some help identifying mischievous or angry retired reporters. But I would still like to be able to pay someone because it isn’t easy work and whether or not someone is willing to work for nothing but the (ahem) glory, they shouldn’t have to. It should be an option. “No, Weldon, keep your money; it’s an honor just to work with you.”

Right.

Anyway, drop me a note (weldon.berger@btcnews.com) or reply in comments here, and if your idea is the one that puts me over the top, you can pick the first question, so long as I can get the editor’s approval for it.

Okay? Okay. Let’s get hopping!

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