I have lived in Los Angeles for a very short time, most of that in Santa Monica, which likes to think it isn’t LA. In that short time, I have not actually learned to love LA, partly because I haven’t seen that much of it and partly because in almost every respect, Southern California compares very poorly with the territory whence I came, that being Hawaii. Hawaii’s weather is better, Hawaii hardly ever has earthquakes — one significant one in the 15 years I was there, as opposed to one significant one in the 6 months I’ve been in LA — Hawaii does not exist courtesy of stealing other people’s water, Hawaii has mango trees in the back yard, Hawaii has an ocean that is swimmable year round by virtue of both temperature and low inimical bateria counts (barring the very rare massive sewage disaster), neither of which can be said of many California beaches. And so on.

However. Never in a million miles on a Hawaii bus would I see what I saw on the #5 Big Blue Bus in LA yesterday, which is one 40-ish woman taking a seat next to another 40-ish woman and, after a few minutes of riding in silence, with occasional curious glances thrown at the book 40-ish woman #1 was reading, asking her if she was a Christian Buddhist too, and then, after an affirmative response, spending the rest of the ride — the part I witnessed, anyway — discussing the perils of Christian Buddhism. The perils apparently and unsurprisingly consist mostly of Christians and Buddhists decrying the inclusion of the other religion in the mix.

I have no idea how many Christian Buddhists there are in, say, Honolulu, but I’m fairly certain that they all know one another and accordingly wouldn’t be entertaining strangers on the bus.

So chalk one up to Los Angeles. I’m also fairly certain that I would like the city more if 1) I had some money and 2) it didn’t take so extravagantly long to get from where I am to anywhere I really want to be, which at this point isn’t anywhere that isn’t free. Wherever that is, it’s at least an hour away. But the city will be hard pressed to overcome my prejudices on the weather, ocean, water and earthquake fronts.

Not that the city or any of its umpteen million residents will, you know, give a shit.

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